4 year anniversary

Today is Valentine’s Day 2025. My last Valentine’s Day with Ex was 2021. 4 years ago. Valentine’s Day had become a complete joke of a holiday in our house long before 2021. Ex never surprised me with gifts, flowers, a date night and poo poo’d every attempt on my part to schedule a date night. Even when I worked everything out all by myself he would rage that ‘he’ can’t afford date night. This was all occasions not just Valentine’s Day. Leading up February 14th 2021, Ex wasn’t even speaking to me. If he had anything to say to me, he mainly said it via text or email.

Valentine’s Day 2021 was just 11 days before February 25th, 2021 and the end.

Ex’s spending spree really started back in June 2020, culminating into a free for all by February 2021. He found out from someone at work part of the Covid relief was the ability to withdraw funds from your retirement account without having to pay the 10% early withdrawal penalty. So that is what he did. He withdrew $100,000 from his retirement. Taxes had to be paid out of it of course. About $35,000 towards taxes. He paid off his $22,000 truck loan and my Honda Civic loan, which we then turned the Civic over to our youngest 16 year old daughter to drive. Ex told me I had $22,000 to either buy a car outright or use as a down payment towards a more expense vehicle. I chose to put a $22,000 down payment on a new SUV. We paid off some credit card debit and his personal loan. After the bills were paid he started spending what was left on stuff for himself. A new gamer’s computer, treadmill and weights come to mind.

October 2020 Ex went on another spending spree over the next few months leading up to February 25th. This spending spree didn’t have the luxury of an early retirement withdrawal to fund his spree. He was methodically emptying our bank savings. I don’t know what was going through his head besides complete self absorbed selfishness. Ex contacted a solar company about installing solar on our house. He didn’t ask my opinion, and as I found out later he didn’t need my permission to have it installed even though I was co owner. They just needed one signature. So in Oct of 2020 Ex signed the contract to have $38,000 worth of solar installed on our home. The solar company installed it late November 2020. Early November, Ex ordered himself $1200 worth of new weight equipment. Also in Nov, 2020 Ex informed me he was broke and wouldn’t be contributing a dime towards Christmas that year. He told me it was my job to inform our 8 children and grand children we were skipping Christmas this year. If I didn’t want to skip Christmas then the expense fell solely on me. December rolled around and Ex bought himself his very own Christmas gift-an AK47, ammo, clips, scope, new clothes for himself, more weight equipment, etc totaling over $4000. When I found out about the expenditures, I asked about where the money came from as he had said he was broke. Ex told me he saved his money. A few days after that he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He knew I was upset. I guess this was an appeasement. I told him I wanted a wedding ring in the jewelry case at Costco, as we had been married 19 years and he never bought me a wedding ring. The only ring I had was a gold band I had purchased for myself early on after he had refused to buy me a ring. Apparently I didn’t deserve a $2500 ring from Costco. He instead ordered a $350 Yakima roof rack for my SUV.

January 2021 was fairly quiet money wise. But February is coming. Early February Ex started salivating over a 2021 model Forest River travel trailer even though we already had a 2019 Jayco travel trailer we were financially upside down on. We owed about $4200 more than it was worth. I told Ex I didn’t think another trailer was a good idea.

Just before February 14, 2021 Ex asked me through text what did I want for Valentine’s Day. I said I wanted nothing. He kept insisting and eventually ordered a $125 purse from Coach Outlet store and had it delivered. So that was Valentine’s Day. I got to open the package left on the porch.

February 16th, 2021 Ex went and bought that $49,000 2021 Forest River travel trailer, putting down $4000 on it. Ex went into a frenzy trying to sell the 2019 Jayco that was upside down by $4200.

Then February 25th happened. Ex drunker and meaner. Screaming he wants a divorce. I found this ridiculous letter in his email to his married work whore.

I wish I had done things differently concerning that 2019 travel trailer. Ex thought he was the only one on the loan and title for that one too. He set up a sell meet and found out he needed my signature too. Then started the threats when I didn’t immediately hop to. He’s going to stop paying on the trailer and ruin my credit because he can’t afford two trailer payments. Bla bla bla

I mean what the what? That would have ruined his own credit too. So I caved and signed. Ex took $4200 out of savings to cover the difference between the selling price and the loan. I wish I had a do over, at this juncture in my life I would not sign.

In three months time, Ex emptied $13,700 out of our savings never to be seen again and signed a solar contract lean on our home for $38,000. All while having an affair. And that’s just the money I know about and could prove.

This is the 4 year anniversary of the mask slipping completely off and of my eyes completely opening to the fact I was married to a true monster.