No longer connected

Ex is truly a piece of work. Ex has ignored and purposefully and publicly dissed youngest daughter for over 4 years. They have had almost zero direct communication during that same 4 plus years. The extremely few times they have communicated it has been a disagreement. The last communication Ex and daughter have had was spring of 2022 when Ex demanded high school graduation tickets for himself and affair partner. Youngest daughter told Ex she didn’t want his GF at her graduation. Ex essentially told daughter either accept my GF or don’t contact me again. They have had no communication between spring of 2022 until a few days ago. Ex sent daughter a cruel and wildly inappropriate text out of the clear blue. The text accused her of something that never happened.

Daughter speculated that maybe Ex found an old letter he received from child support enforcement and misunderstood its context. Daughter turned 21 last year and Ex’s child support obligation to her ended when she turned 21. I don’t believe Ex misunderstood an old letter. I believe Ex’s life choices have dropped him in the toilet and he is lashing out. But whether he misunderstood an old letter from last year or he just chose a random subject to lambast daughter with, Ex’s behavior isn’t normal behavior, and this text is beyond disgusting. I redacted daughter’s full name, which Ex had typed out. Ex blamed daughter for his own follies and then told her to change her name. How grotesque and low he is.

I have had Ex blocked on all social media, to include Facebook, since I found out about his affair nearly 4.5 years ago. The text to daughter is a serious red flag something has to be amiss in Ex’s life. Ex still has his Facebook set to public so anyone can go take a look. My oldest daughter did just that and found a treasure trove.

Apparently daughter has been publicly excommunicated from Ex’s life. But the reason for Ex lashing out at daughter appears to be Ex’s on again off again affair partner is apparently off again. Ex’s Facebook display is certifiable at best.

I will post those screen shots in a bit…

I have so much to say about this post. There are no whole truths, just snippets of partial truths. We are 4.5 years down the road and Ex is still perpetuating his lies. Ex has been repeating this farce about losing ‘’20 years of his life’s equity’’ since the divorce trial. ‘’Including the $470,000 house I had to sign over, vehicles I had to sign over, and anything in the house.’’. Ex makes it appear that he lost $470,000 plus cars and household items in the divorce. The truth is far from his piteous description. The house had/has a mortgage, which I was ordered to refinance in my own name. Plus the house had a $34,000 solar lean in addition to the mortgage, which I was also ordered to refi in my own name. The remaining home equity after deducting the mortgage and solar lean was very comparable to Ex’s 403b, which he was solely awarded.

I was awarded my vehicle which was financed and he was awarded his truck which was paid off. The equity in my financed vehicle was comparable to the value of his paid off truck. I refinanced my vehicle in my name only. As far as household items….Ex removed a great deal of items from the house before he was order to move out. Included in the items he removed was approximately $12,000 worth of guns, gun accessories as well as some very expensive weight equipment. The items he removed were worth at very least equal to the remaining household items, but in reality probably worth more. I was awarded my very small work retirement acct. The biggest sticking point for Ex was our 2014 Honda Civic given to our then 16 yr old daughter to drive in mid 2020. The Civic had been my daily driver since purchasing it new in 2014. I purchased a new vehicle in 2020 and we decided since we knew it was a reliable car for daughter to drive and for daughter to drive youngest son around in, it was presented to youngest daughter for her exclusive use. Ex demanded from the divorce get go that he wanted to take the car away from daughter, sell it, split the proceeds and if I wanted her to have a car to drive I would need to buy her a car out of my 1/2. And poof, just like that all the reasons daughter was driving the Civic went out Ex’s window. He was only concerned with the money at that point. I refused to sell it. By the time our divorce trial came around, daughter had been driving the car for 3 years and it became one of the hills I was willing to die on. I told my attorney I would not agree to taking the car from our daughter as she was just entering college and needed transportation and I wanted him to make a stand for keeping it at our trial. Ex sounded so petty and vindictive at trial, demanding to sell the car. The judge awarded the Civic to our daughter. Ex and I were ordered to sign the title over to daughter.

It’s almost comical Ex would bring up Disneyland. I asked him so many times to let’s take the kids but he had some lame excuse why we couldn’t/wouldn’t take them every single time I brought it up. He always feigned how ‘broke’ he was and there was no money to go, but that just wasn’t true. Family vacations, or family time period, were dead last on Ex’s priority list. Now that I don’t have to consult with Ex, we go to Disneyland. And it is so much fun. Far more fun than the years of doing nothing, but watching Ex fall asleep on the couch after drinking himself into a stupor every night.

And that’s it. He had to split ‘’20 years of equity’’ 50/50. For some reason he thought, and still thinks, he should get 100 % of ‘his equity’ rather than the half he ended up with. That’s the problem with adultery and divorce. You don’t get to cheat and walk away with everything and that chaps Ex’s ass.

A friend forwarded this from Ex’s Facebook page:

I asked my friend, so does he actually only have one friend now? Yep, Ex deleted every single Facebook friend except his apparent off again affair partner:

I wouldn’t know much of anything about Ex at this point, except for the fact he made that hideous text to our daughter a few days ago. And of course the fact he has kept his Facebook public, which begs that he is hoping people actually see his weird posts even after deleting everyone except GF. To be totally honest, I believe Ex spends inordinate amounts of time contemplating my demise. These latest posts of his haven’t changed my belief.

More to come….

Honestly, I don’t understand much of this Ex post. I think it was a drunken rant mostly. He even has the ‘interviewer’s first and last name name incorrect. The ‘interviewer’ generated by Ex’s counter filing for guardianship was indeed a retired county circuit court judge. Ex stated the ex-judge (interviewer) asked him if he was trying to take son away from his mother: the retired judge interviewer, the second interviewer, had full privy to the first ‘interviewer’s’ official report. In that first report by the first interviewer, Ex had requested the interviewer recommend our disabled son be placed in state guardianship rather than in my guardianship. Essentially, Ex had stated if I can’t have guardianship of son, I want to make sure nobody will.

I posted about the interviewer’s in a previous post. There were two interviewers. One generated by my initial petition for guardianship, at which Ex requested state guardianship, and a second interviewer generated by Ex’s counter petition for guardianship for himself. Ex is commiserating the second interviewer, initiated by his counterclaim.

Ex had literally asked the court (first court appointed interviewer) to throw the baby out with the bathwater (hand son over to the state) , and the second interviewer asked him if his intent was to take son away from me. Ex is angry the retired judge understood that Ex was more concerned with winning than Ex was with doing what was best for son. With my rebuttal to Ex’s counter filing for guardianship for himself, I included both Ex’s written divorce ‘proposals’. Ex was offering full sole custody to me in exchange for no support from him. The retired judge asked Ex why he was tying custody and support together like that. Ex said he needs to buy a house for himself and he may not be able to buy a house if he has to pay support.

In addition the interviewer Ex is complaining about interviewed son’s doctor, teacher and disability case manager. They all unanimously stated it was me who did all the things. son’s case manager said she had never even met Ex. Of the total of 33 IEP and disability services meetings since son’s birth, Ex had attend a grand total of 3 meetings. This is fact, as all of these meetings require attendance logs. Ex’s signature is only on 3.

Ex wanted to look like ‘super dad’ after the fact and after the divorce and was angry just how uninvolved he had been was becoming unavoidably apparent to the outside world.

More to come….

As I have already stated, I wouldn’t know about any of these Facebook posts of Ex’s if Ex hadn’t chosen to turn his anger towards our daughter and sent her that 1:00 am text out of the clear blue.

It appears the GF packed up and moved back to my town. Ex talked her into selling her house, quitting her job of 20 yrs and moving with him 4.5 hours north of here. And after all that she left him after only 6-7 months and moved back to where it all started. Instead of accepting his screw ups, Ex is sitting around all alone 4.5 hours north of us contemplating who he can lash out at and blame for his current plight. Namely our innocent daughter. And….writing middle of the night posts blaming me (and God) for everything wrong in his life.

More to come….

So far in his weird pity party posts when he mentions ‘karma’ it has to do with me. Then followed the karma post with a song about killing. I realize Ex may have been thinking of someone else, maybe the now ex-adultery partner GF, but honestly I believe Ex perseverates on my demise. Ex posted the 3 posts directly above, then deleted the 2nd and 3rd posts the next day. Ex is seriously off. And terrifying.

It’s really amazing how he takes absolutely no responsibility for anything and even goes so far as to say if women were in danger of losing everything in addition to their man maybe they would try harder in the marriage. Amazing- no accountability. No culpability. No responsibility for the man. No admissions that maybe, just maybe he is the one in wrong. Goodness

And I believe Ex fantasies about my demise

More to come…..