Obsolete

Kinda sorta but not entirely about my Narc Ex. Feeling it right now. My beautiful youngest daughter, who has been my best friend is leaving for college. She’s 22, smart, beautiful and the best of the best. She truly is lovely. Prettier than most. Striking really. She is moving out but not close by. She is moving so far away my heart worries I may never see her again. And it’s breaking my heart.

I tried so hard not to place too much on her shoulders all through the divorce. Ex has been terrible to daughter. As with his first divorce and his older two children, Ex gave her ultimatums. It’s him or her mom. No middle ground. Either she choose complete loyalty to Ex, rejecting her mother. or she’s dead to him. His older two children chose their mom after his ultimatums. Daughter chose me after Ex gave her similar ultimatums a whole decade later. I never understood him. I tried talking him down after his confrontations with his oldest son, but Ex was determined. Ex was the ‘victim’ and either his son chose Ex to the complete exclusion of his mother or Ex wanted nothing to do with his son. Ex presented almost verbatim ultimatums to our daughter.

Ex screamed at daughter. Tried guilting daughter. Tried convincing her of things that never happened. Attempted gaslighting daughter in ways that left my jaw on the floor. As I said before, daughter is smart, but also observant. And at 17 she wasn’t having it. Ex has disowned daughter. Ex has been cruel and brought his affair partner in to join in on his cruelty.

5 years. Daughter has been my friend. 17-22. But even before the divorce. We have been so close her entire life. Now she’s leaving. My heart is broken. I am so proud of her. She will accomplish everything she sets out to do, but I will miss her beyond what I can put into words.

Feeling lonely and a little obsolete