I feel sick

Son spent the weekend with Ex, but he is home now. As usual when son returns from Ex, it’s all the ‘dad say’. So for the umpteenth time I got to hear dad say mom bad wife, dad say mom steal dad money, dad say he want son to live with him. All the yada yada yada son has returned with time after time. But this time, son had a ‘dad say’ I never heard before. I’ve never heard this but it did fill in a hole in the story of something that happened 4 years ago. And Im hurt and angry with Ex all over again.

We as a family bought a sweet little 9 week old golden retriever. She was our family dog. Son and daughter were young. They grew up with her. She was their dog, our dog.

At our temporary divorce hearing in May, 2021, the kids and I were awarded sole occupancy of our home. Ex was given 30 days to vacate. The 30 longest days of my life. He made life extra hell during that time. I remember that extreme trepidation I felt when the judge said 30 days. My attorney said it’ll be OK, they always run to the house and pack and are out in a day or two, sometimes even a few hours later. I looked at my attorney and said you don’t understand, ex will drag this out to the bitter end. And that is exactly what Ex did. He stayed until 2 hours before the 5:00 deadline on the 30th day.

Although Ex had already absconded with tens of thousands of dollars of personal assets from the house, on that 30th day, he started packing out anything he could lay hands on. And lastly, the golden retriever. I told him she was the family dog. She needed to stay with the kids. Ex told me fuck you and said I will make sure you never see her again and walked out with her, as well as another of our dogs. The other dog, a Turkish Kangal, was arguably Ex’s dog. The Golden Retriever was the family dog. From June 2021-January 2022, Ex fulfilled his promise. I was not allowed to see her. Ex had her in his truck during pickups with son. Ex drove around with the windows down. Both dogs would hang out the window, so excited to see me. If I approached the truck to pet them, Ex immediately rolled the windows up. Pure unadulterated pettiness.

January 2022, I did get to see her one last time. Lying on the bed of his truck. Dead. Ex had sent a long convoluted group text to his mother, step-daughter, adultery partner and our daughter. He went on about how he had lost the most important thing in his life. Daughter wanted to see her one last time, but she didn’t want to go alone. I went with daughter to step- daughter’s house for a last viewing. It was heartbreaking. I don’t actually know why Ex included daughter on the group text. They hadn’t spoken in 7 months at that point. After months of horrible behavior towards daughter, I believe Ex thought it was his sympathy inroad to daughter. No admissions of guilt or wrong doing on his part, just a look at poor woe is me, I lost my beloved dog. But our 18 year old daughter wanted what we all wanted. An apology, a I was wrong and Im sorry. But that never materialized. What I can say for certain, Ex had fulfilled his promise that I would never see our family dog again.

I did make a huge mistake the day I found out she died. I sent Ex a little short but sweet video of our dog that Im fairly certain Ex had never seen before. As is Ex’s established MO, instead of simply saying thank you, he used yet another opportunity to trash me.

In August of 2022 son showed me a picture Ex sent him via text. Ex had a golden retriever tattooed on his boob.

I never understood Ex’s seemly drunken really off post from April 2025:

But now it makes sense. Tonight’s the ‘dad say’. Son said ‘dad say’ she died choking on a Costco hot dog. So Ex was up in the middle of the night while son was sleeping, feeding our beautiful 7 year old golden retriever a left over Costco hot dog and she choked to death.

Ex took our beautiful family dog away from us and then killed her. The story 4 years ago never added up. How did a seemingly health vibrant 7 year old golden retriever just suddenly drop dead? That answer finally came today. And I feel sick. She would more than likely still be with us if Ex hadn’t used her as a pawn in his hate filled games of control. I wish I had that 30th day to do over again. I would take her for a drive and not be home until after Ex’s 5:00 pm deadline.

The man has destroyed Every. Single. Thing. he has ever touched.

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This was 2/1/26. I still feel sick. He gave our sweet beautiful Golden a Costco hot dog in the middle of the night. And here Ex is giving our other sweet dog pizza in the night.Why? There’s something inherently wrong with Ex. I worry. What is next?